Razzle Dazzle

An incredibly creative friend of mine and a couple of her friends are putting on a fashion parade next Saturday and they've asked me to sing for them.  Well no, sorry there is no piano. Oh, okay then it will have to be something acapella.

I'm singing Handel's Silent Worship which people may remember as a duet in the film "Emma" between Emma (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Frank Churchill (Ewan McGregor).  So nothing very demanding or strenuous.

Even so, I should be rehearsing it but trying to sing in this weather ends up feeling like I've spent too much time in the sauna.

Tick, tock

Oh my goodness, time has flown.

The season has changed. Hurrah. Well not officially and I was sure it had turned quite some time ago but now the sun is proving it. (I was trying to capture the sparkle of sunlight through the glass but the camera did not quite get there. I really must learn how to take better photos too.) What a bleak and seemingly long, dark winter it has been. I cannot begin to tell you how my spirits are lifting with the return of the sun. We are having the most beautiful spring weather. Much as we try to squish our Australian climate into the eurocentric idea of four seasons, in reality it just doesn't work that way. It seems to me we have more like 6 and possibly there are more for someone more sensitive.

At the risk of losing vegies to late frosts, I have begun planting vegies, various lettuce, kale, bok choy, silverbeet, spring onions, snow peas and basil, rocket, continental parsley. Next I want to put in some coriander before it warms up too much and it bolts to seed. I have managed to pick 2 strawberries already!!! However further chances of that happening are greatly reduced as a possum seems to have discovered that, clever as thought I was being, lo there are strawbs to be found among the flowers! I have heard him/her growly cursing out there in the evening. Drat. Postscript: Did I say late frosts? We've just had our hottest August day on record. Phew!

Most of all this spring I want to plant lots and lots of colourful flowers. The daughter of the house owners (who lived here before us) had begun to set up the garden along permaculture lines - lots of productive plants but few flowers. We have tried to maintain it as such. In a system where everything hopefully has more than one purpose, I'm not sure that flowers for the sake of flowers are entirely "allowed". But this year I'm putting my foot down - I'm having flowers just to look at and enjoy. They will however bring bees and other predators into the garden so maybe I can get away with it. To this end I have already planted daisies, jump-up-jacks, polyanthus, pansies, primulas and marigolds. I had alreay planted a chinese lantern shrub and white heliotrope. I need to go back to the nursery and part with more money because I've decided that there is still room for more flowers.

Oh, and I have found my singing voice again. Sometime at the end of last year it decided to go. Well, not literally, I could sing but my feelings of joy in doing so had completely vanished and I was beginning to wonder if they would ever return. But here is the sun and after some deep work on old hurts, I feel a toxic cloud has lifted. Having found a new path on which to set my musical feet I am singing again along with the birds who seem to echo my enthusiasm for this season of renewal (If for a somewhat different reason - wink, wink).

Even though it may seem an odd time of the year to begin knitting - that's exactly what I'm doing. While staying with her over the holidays Mum and I went through all her patterns looking for the woollen cape I know she has...somewhere. We didn't find it but I did discover a book by Liz Gemmell called Knitting for your Home which has patterns for knitted floor rugs. We have a sofa - the original fabric is torn (I mean to recover it some day when I'm feeling more courageous about my ability) so we threw a loose cover over it and now with all the rough treatment from the two boys that in turn has torn on the seat part. At the moment I have placed a cot blanket crocheted by Mum for Little Tree but... and now comes the point I'm trying to make - I have taken a pattern from the book and am in the process of knitting up squares that will eventually be sown together and used as a throw. Here is a photo of the first three squares and the fourth in progress. No, unfortunately it is not wool. For ease of washing I have chosen acrylic yarn.

Journeying

There must be something in the air this year. Everyone I know is journeying. Whether they're taking off to the Kimberleys for six months, or taking a trip around Oz, starting something they've never done before, moving house, dying (!!!) or journeying inwardly - which is where I am.

I started this year thinking that something had to change - that I could not continue to approach the world in the same manner, as it obviously was no longer serving me.


I was even disatisfied with my singing. I pulled out of concerts and exams as I found my heart was no longer in it - at least not to perform in the traditional way. Images of Red Priest and Corvus Corax came to mind and my imagination ran wild as to the type of performance I'd like to be a part of. The importance of all that has been dislodged for the time being by this inner journeying. And I'm really surprised that I'm not feeling distraught. I feel I'm putting things to one side in order to make space for something new.


I've been trying to find that real place in me beneath or behind all the facades and roles I play in order to feel I fit in and am acceptable to the people I'm with. I want to practise stepping into my skin or stepping into life. In the odd moments I can do that - usually when I'm on my own - I've been feeling a peace and contentment that is just.....bliss.


It doesn't seem to matter how much reading or listening I do - without the correct key, it merely remains knowledge rather than understanding. And I feel I'm only just beginning to get a mere glimmer on a subject I thought I understood. Ah well.....just call me Shrek!! (You know, "Ogres are like onions - they have layers.")hehehe.