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I am a fan. I have seen it twice now and hope to see it once more before it finishes at the cinemas.  We had a choice of seeing 2D (cinema is closer) or 3D. I'm so glad we chose 3D and drove those extra few k's. I have not been so moved and awestruck by a movie since seeing Star Wars IV (now I'm showing my age!!!).

I loved the environmental message. All Lovelock devotees would have appreciated the huge nod to Gaia. I am in awe of the artists that came up with such a heartachingly beautiful world - I admit I cried at times. I did not enjoy the battle scene at all but I suppose not only did it get "bums on seats" it also served to magnify the difference in outlook on life between the Na'vi and the greedy western mindset. It certainly was anti-corporate and anti-military. I'd be happy to watch a "documentary" about the Na'vi - you know, a year in the life of...  type of thing, just to see more of the flora and fauna and the connection the Na'vi have with their world.

Anyway, loved it and my movegoing experience from now on will be measured against this so, chances are, I'm in for a lot of disappointment.  Having said that, I am looking forward to Alice in Wonderland in 3D.

Letting Go

Wow. Such a lot seems to be happening at the moment.

The older I get the less I like change. I used to revel in it  and look forward with excitement to the new. Then around my Saturn return I made huge changes in just about every aspect of my life, I did those things suddenly and in a state of shock - locking away my old life in a separate place within and cutting off that person I was. Now whenever change is happening I always view it with suspicion and fear. Those unresolved issues are now coming back to bite me and I feel I'm living in a echo of that Saturn return. So the time has come to gently acknowledge, own and integrate those memories and experiences and move into the next phase.

The week before Christmas my  mother became too ill to look after herself so having arranged for someone to look after her place, we picked her up and brought her back here to convalesce.  Let me set the scene for you - she is in her early 70's and owns 10 steep acres. On it she has numerous goats, sheep, chickens, two dogs and one cat. She has lovely landscaped gardens around the house and all this she looks after on her own, my Dad being deceased for many years now.  In addition, she is also involved in music, mah jong, buddhism, local organic farming group, teaches buddhism at the local school and volunteers. Mum has finally acknowledged that it is all too much for her and has decided to sell up and move to something smaller. I'm finding it very hard to see her living somewhere else - she always said the only way she would leave was in a pine box. The farms that she's owned have always been a sanctuary for me and I will grieve for that loss of space and peace where I don't have to worry that I'm trespassing or that I will be bothered by strangers happening to wander into the same space. All this did have a silver lining - Mum was with us for Christmas and through to the new year which was very special, especially for her and Little Tree.

Since starting this post, we have also been given notice to vacate this house. Our landlords, who have been very good to us, have now retired and wish to move down here from the big smoke to be closer to their daughter and granddaughter. Oddly enough they want to move into their house!!!! So we are now on the lookout for a new home in a scarce rental market. I would, of course, love to buy and I've seen just the house but the bank would just laugh at us with the deposit we have or more to the point, don't have.

Some really good news is that, after nearly ten years, Little Tree is now eating something other than pancakes with spreads/toast with spreads and fruit.  He has, for the last two weeks, eaten vegies, nut loaf, lamb, lentil burgers, pasta, fried rice, baked beans, dried fruit. Wow! This is a HUGE milestone and I've been doing little celebratory dances every night. You have no idea how concerned I've been over his limited diet and the lack of nutrients he was getting.

Last year was difficult, laying the foundations for change, this year seems to be one of moving into those changes. So I've put my wishes out there into the universe, let them go and now we'll see what the universe can come up with.

Life is far from boring, that's for sure.

Blessings to everyone for 2010.

Balance

Nature likes balance and that's just what she's doing.  After all the floods this year, nature is now providing us with hot sticky days and teasing us with afternoon clouds that any other year would yield storms and rain - cooling the ground and air and making it more comfortable to....just be alive. As a result our nights are broken - first it's too hot to even be under a sheet, then a little later I pull up the sheet, then a bit later a light blanket but after a while I'm too hot again so the process begins all over again.  On top of this Little Tree has a nasty cough which may or may not be a virus/may or may not be whooping cough (which is going around) and we've had hardly any sleep for the last three nights. Oh..no..um..of course, the kettle belongs on the bench not the pantry and bugger I just tried to rinse out the full bottle of fragrant oil not the one containing just a few drops - well at least the bathroom smells nice *apologetic shrug* and why isn't dinner cooked? oops...helps if you turn the stove on.

Is it any wonder that someone only had to look at me yesterday for me to morph into some hideous monster, as likely as not to bite off your head and spit it out at your feet then walk away looking quite satisfied. As dear friend Rachel says - tiredness is evil. It changes normally happy, agreeable people to foul creatures that, even though we have no reasonable right to complain, can't help but be horrible to our undeserving partners. And this is exactly why I DO NOT like Summer here. Spring is perfect and Autumn is gorgeous. Winter is refreshingly cold without being icy but Summer sucks - the beach is only an option early or late unless one enjoys heatstroke. The river is a better option - one can find shade - however with all the dairy farms around and the runoff we've had.....well, need I say more? 

As I write this a strong wind from the hot parched inland west has picked up, rattling the doors and windows, so even though it's a hot wind the air movement provides respite. And my darling husband has taken Little Tree to visit his grandparents (they are happy to accept responsibility for their exposure to illness)  so peace and quiet reigns. And now I've had my little rant I think it's time to put the kettle on.... if only I can remember in what obscure place I left it this time.

(couldn't resist this image :-)

Razzle Dazzle

An incredibly creative friend of mine and a couple of her friends are putting on a fashion parade next Saturday and they've asked me to sing for them.  Well no, sorry there is no piano. Oh, okay then it will have to be something acapella.

I'm singing Handel's Silent Worship which people may remember as a duet in the film "Emma" between Emma (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Frank Churchill (Ewan McGregor).  So nothing very demanding or strenuous.

Even so, I should be rehearsing it but trying to sing in this weather ends up feeling like I've spent too much time in the sauna.

Mustn't Grumble, But....

We have people in our area that are claiming for flood assistance following the 5th major flood this year.

Yet today is melting hot and I feel two sizes too big for my clothes and the sweat is trickling down my back - yuk!  The sky is clear and blue except for a slight haze caused by the humidity, the soil is already parched and beginning to crack and the lettuce seedlings have died. There is not a trace of rain or storms on the weather bureau's radar and the only place to be comfortable is sitting directly in front of the air conditioner. I put washing on the line an hour ago and it's dry already even with the humidity. It's these kind of days that have me wondering what sort of insane person chooses to live here.

(It's even too hot to do this)

At least complaining of the heat is distracting us from time to time from the latest in the Drama Queen saga that is causing so much stress to Mr I and consequently the rest of the family. Let's just say that if I ever consider working for a management committee, I hope someone will quietly take me to the nearest psych ward and leave me there. This has been going on since May and looks like it's approaching crunch time. But I keep thinking that. This year has been like one of those soapies where things just keep happening and it gets to a point where it's no longer tragic but hilariously funny because by then you're thinking okay, what on earth is going to happen next - bring it on, I'm curious to see how imaginative the script writers can be. 

It was just after one of these events that I was sitting on the verandah shaking my head in dazed and bemused wonder that it suddenly struck me that life is really a role playing game and we have all just chosen our characters and walked onto the board and then become so dazzled with the play that we've forgotten we're not actually the characters and the board is just our chosen plane of existence.  So when I realise I'm getting too identified with the play and I feel I'm going to go mad and all this cannot be happening, I watch my breath and sense how my body is and remember that all the stuff happening is just content and that I can choose to step back. At least, at the moment I'm managing to do that. I might have to work harder if the game becomes horrible rather than merely grim.

In the meantime I'm buying lottery tickets in the hope that should we win enough Mr I can give his employers the you-know-what which will take care of one headache at least.

Here's hoping that 2010 will be a more comfortable year for us.

Literary I am Not

Before we went away on holiday, I called into our local secondhand bookstore and walked out with, among other things, James Joyce's Ulysses. I have heard so much about this book for years that when I saw it I thought I might see what all the fuss was about.  No, I did not take it away with me - not totally silly.  But now I am wondering if there's such a thing as Ulysses for Dummies. LOL

A Long Time Coming

We're back.

We have just returned from spending a glorious week relaxing (read collapsing) at Angourie Rainforest Resort in Yamba on the north coast of New South Wales. A mere two and half hours drive from home.  It was so peaceful and quiet it made me realise just how noisy it is at home. A very big thankyou to Holiday Coast Respite and Action Support - without them it would not have been possible.

(phew, such a long drive!!!)

This was our first family holiday since Little Tree was a baby - that's eight years! Our reluctance to try earlier was directly related to L.T's inability to cope with new places and our unwillingness to cope with his distress while supposedly on holiday (under these circumstances - relaxing and holiday - mutually exclusive terms).

Given the success we've had using social stories as a support for events that I know L.T will find challenging, I rang the resort and asked if they would kindly take photos of the property entrance, office, pools, playground, games room, exterior and interior of the actual villa we had booked. I must admit I was unprepared for the willingness to help shown by the resort staff - I know this sounds crazy but I was so grateful I cried when I hung up. Reiko was great - she sent exactly what I needed.  I drew up a social story for L.T incorporating the photos using Powerpoint and we read through it every bedtime for about two weeks.  As the time came closer I wrote it up on his weekly calendar. I was still apprehensive but needn't have been - he was excited and couldn't have been better behaved on the drive up. We took the social story with us so he could look at the photos and match them to reality. My undying gratitude goes to Kris at DADHC for showing us the magic of social stories.

(Yamba headland. North and south break walls in background. To get to North wall you need to catch a ferry or drive 20 minutes to Iluka)

It was the best thing we've done for ourselves in years and going through term time rather than school holidays (fewer people at the resort) was inspired. I really liked Yamba with it's many waterways to enjoy - estuaries, harbour and beaches not to mention some great boutiques. Apart from sight seeing and just a little retail therapy, Mr I and Little Tree spent many hours fishing while I lazed around reading novels or enjoyed having the huge pool almost exclusively to myself.  Little Tree especially liked the children's pool and we had trouble getting him out when other children were splashing alongside him.

(Collecting stones on Pippi Beach, Yamba)

The highlight for me had to be the 3 hours at the day spa mmmmmm yum. As suggested, I arrived an hour earlier than my booking so I could use the steam room and therapy pool and thoroughly relax before being led to the treatment room and pampered with body brushing, ocean wrap, scalp massage, sweat wrap, facial and body massage. Heavenly! I floated out of there more relaxed than I've been in years and smelling gorgeous. I am hoping that we'll be allocated a respite package again next year so we can go back.

(Tranquil view from villa patio)

I had arranged for my sister-in-law to come in and feed the goldfish and Shu-Shu. When I heard that there had been another flood at home (fourth one this year) I was a little concerned (but not for long) that she may not have been able to get in  - I was determined not to think about home or worry about anything and I was remarkably successful. We came home to a very happy-to-see-you-but-don't-you-dare-go-away-again [gentle bite and swipe with the claws while purring] cat. The fish did not do so well (scene from Shrek II - dead fish floating in bowl) - I can't blame my sister-in-law, I had already lost one fish and was crossing my fingers the others would be okay. Obviously I need to give the tank and everything in it a thorough clean before I buy new fish.

(Close up)

Mr I had arranged to have an additional week off so we were able to spread that feeling of holiday mode a little further with walks on the beach (I walked, Mr I went beach worming).

(Late afternoon North Beach, Mylestom)

(Late afternoon North Beach, Mylestom)

So now it's back to school and work and I get time to blog and catch up singing and knitting (although I did take my knitting away, all I managed was 4 rows - reading was less energetic, hehehe).